Hello Ladies,
Thank you for all your comments on last weeks blog in " Forgiving Yourself". Before we move onto working on Forgiving Others, I think it would be beneficial if we spent another week on Forgiving Ourselves!
Forgiving yourself is the most difficult, most humbling and most liberating experience you can gift yourself. Yes, all three at the same time!
It takes serious effort to truly and completely forgive your own flaws and imperfections, get over your past mistakes, and let go of the time that was wasted on self-rage, self-pity and regret.
It can get tired some of carrying the weight of should-have, could-have with you every day, and to look back with regret at the smarter choices we could have made or the opportunities we should have grabbed.
Let us believe we are worthy of more than we think we are.
Life happens. We have one chance to react. That reaction spawns off other events. We manage them the best we can. Now it’s over and you are here in this moment in time. Why carry the burden to eternity when you can drop it by forgiving yourself?
Forgiveness does not mean you are weak and you are letting others walk all over you. Forgiveness does not portray you as a loser, a quitter or a dummy. Absolutely positively not!
Jennifer, like you said "guilt being a disease", that is very deep. So with that being said, we don't want to be infected with any disease, but that can be what we are carrying around when we don't forgive yourselves!
You all had some excellent comments, and I hope you all made the time to read them all?
Jade, I never gave that a second thought, so please don't beat yourself up about that. I this will help you to forgive yourself, you are forgiven.
I'd like to share a few more tools you can say or do, in helping with the forgiveness of ourselves.
1. We can grow more patient and understanding of others by forgiving our self.
2. We can only share our gift with the world if we first forgive our self.
3. Let go of all self-judgement and self-sabotage.
4. You have the courage to heal and become whole again.
4. Take small steps toward greater growth.
Please make time to read the blog and comment by Friday.
I hope you all have a blessed week.
Terri, this is very good and thought provoking. I spent so many years of my life being a yes person just because people would have attitudes if I said no and I would feel guilty and it took a while for me to forgive myself. I am happy to say now that I do, or at least think I,know how to forgive myself and that alone makes it easier to say no without explanation and not feel guilty about it afterwards. Until reading your post tonight, I didn't really realize how I was able to get past it, but the truth is, I didn't get past it, I forgave myself.
ReplyDeleteSo I would like to focus on both #2 and #4.
ReplyDelete2) We can only share our gift with the world if we first forgive our self:
-This is a very interesting point considering I do not yet know what my gift is. Does this mean I haven't truly forgiven myself? I find myself being humbled by giving and sharing life experiences with other people, in hopes that they will benefit from it. In fact, I can even say that I am able to use some of my regrets as a tool, to show the people that I share my experiences with, to not make some of the mistakes that I made.
4You have the courage to heal and become whole again:
The truth is, I don't. I don't have the courage to heal. I fear that the moment I am fully healed, that will be the moment that I become complacent in life. And when I become complacent in life, that's when I am at risk of getting hurt again; physically anyways.
These are just two things that I need to work on when it comes to self forgiveness. Thanks for the tools mom.
Hi Ladies,
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say, mom, you are doing an EXCELLENT job with these posts. They are incredibly thought provoking and you raise so many points that hit home for me. Shana, you had such a deep statement when you said that you didn't realize how you were able to get past guilt, but you realized that you forgave yourself. The power of self forgiveness is a powerful thing. So powerful that it allows you to move past negative feelings. Jade, I can understand what you mean by equating healing with exposure and vulnerability. I have those feelings as well from time to time. For me, self forgiveness boils down to self worth. Am I selfish for looking out for myself and my well being? Am I worth forgiving my past mistakes? How do I forgive myself when others do not forgive me? I find self forgiveness to be confusing and complex the boundaries between self forgiveness and not taking accountability for my actions are not exactly very clear to me. For example, when I read tool #1 I immediately have thoughts like perhaps I am not patient and understanding in my relationships because I am not patient and understanding within. What does that even look like?? But then,jump to tool #3 and I go back to "perhaps I'm being too hard on myself or judging myself to harshly" In all of this confusion, I know one thing....I am here to learn what I am here to teach. Everything that I learn while I am on this earth is meant to be taught. I have to master self forgiveness so that I can teach it. I'm unclear on the "how" of it all, but I will figure it out.
This was a good post. I really don't know where to start when it comes to trying to forgive "myself". But this post and the examples are a good food for thought.
ReplyDeleteHello ladies. Number 4 "you have the courage to heal and become whole again", really speaks to me. A lot of the times because I hold on to so much it's hard for me to heal as well as feel whole. I often feel a sense of being incomplete. But when I let go and acknowledge the mistakes that I may have made forgive myself for them and learn to really let go I find that I begin to heal more quickly and feel more complete. I also find that it helps me to forgive someone who has done me wrong or hurt me and let go of what they've done instead of harvesting it and let it affect me on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteHello ladies. Number 4 "you have the courage to heal and become whole again", really speaks to me. A lot of the times because I hold on to so much it's hard for me to heal as well as feel whole. I often feel a sense of being incomplete. But when I let go and acknowledge the mistakes that I may have made forgive myself for them and learn to really let go I find that I begin to heal more quickly and feel more complete. I also find that it helps me to forgive someone who has done me wrong or hurt me and let go of what they've done instead of harvesting it and let it affect me on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteHello ladies. Number 4 "you have the courage to heal and become whole again", really speaks to me. A lot of the times because I hold on to so much it's hard for me to heal as well as feel whole. I often feel a sense of being incomplete. But when I let go and acknowledge the mistakes that I may have made forgive myself for them and learn to really let go I find that I begin to heal more quickly and feel more complete. I also find that it helps me to forgive someone who has done me wrong or hurt me and let go of what they've done instead of harvesting it and let it affect me on a daily basis.
ReplyDelete